This past weekend was spent doing something I’ve always wanted to do – the Edinburgh Fringe Festival! Considering I want to work in the theatre industry, I’m actually surprised I haven’t been sooner. And I’m also very surprised that somewhere so beautiful exists in the UK because here in England you rarely see a view like that… sorry to burst your bubble 
But Scotland is a whole other story. I’ve been to Glasgow a fair few times and always love the 5 hour train journey up. I’m always so shocked at the change of scenery once I cross the border though. Considering England and Scotland are attached, they’re very different. Scotland is green and pretty, England is dull and pretty industrial. The hills, the sea, the idyllic setting – you can’t help but feel a little bit brighter.
My friend and I got the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh, and arrived around 7.30pm. We spent about an hour walking through the streets taking in the sights. It was very busy, and I mean very busy but it’s understandable. There are over 2,000 different shows being put on this year and each one has their own specific audience. There really is something for everyone whether you’re a hippy student, a drunk lager lout, or a family of four – there will be something for you. My friend took me to a little spot that brought back a lot of childhood memories because I watched the film hundreds of times. If you have never seen Greyfriars Bobby you must go and watch it… right now. It’s black and white, and very old, but it’s the most warm hearted story ever. *cue lump in throat*
My friend had seen these streets about 1,000 time before (she’s Scottish, not weird) so she wasn’t really phased by it. I, however, was gazing at the buildings and trying to take it all in. Edinburgh is so historical and incredibly beautiful – I was just in awe of the place. We finally headed down to the Udderbelly Pasture where our show was being staged – I have never seen so many people in my life. The Udderbelly itself is a huge, purple, upside-down cow with a stage inside (see below for full effect), and outside there is a “pasture” covered in fake grass where people can drink, eat a picnic, and chat. Everyone was so friendly and if you said “excuse me” to get past someone, there wasn’t a problem. If you accidentally stood on someone’s fingers there was no ill feeling – it was all just very lovely.
Once we finally got inside to watch the show, I could hardly keep my eyes open. I had the most horrendous headache but nothing could spoil my night – I was in the most amazing city, in the best company, and watching my favourite comedian. Come on headache, try a little harder! And with that we headed back to catch the last train, with smiles on our faces, and fire in our bellies. I’ve been to Edinburgh Festival, but goodness… next time I shall be staying for a good while longer. You can bet your big purple udders on that!
Over the past 4 weeks, whilst working hard at my full time summer job, some of my views have come under fire from various colleagues. Not in a negative way, unless you count the silence I’m faced with once I’ve aired my views as negative. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me because these views concern my life and my future so what anyone else thinks is irrelevant, surely? But this is where it gets complicated. This past year, my two supervisors got married and are all set on having kids. They’re all loved up and constantly talk about how happy they are. I enjoy listening to these tales of married bliss – who doesn’t love hearing about being loved up? One thing that they don’t understand is this…
I don’t want to get married, and I don’t want to have kids.
I’m not some old spinster who hates men (well only occasionally) and I’m not some heartless bitch who hates children. I love kids, I just don’t want them for myself. The idea of marriage is nice to think about but I just don’t feel that it fits into my life, as ridiculous as that sounds. But here is the knockout, the view that get’s most people’s backs up…
Marriage and children would get in the way of my career.
There, I said it. My career is my life. My passions in life don’t centre around love, marriage, and kids. They centre around theatre, my career, and my ambitions. Is this so incredibly bad? Apparently it is. “How can you not want to get married?” says one colleague. “There must be something wrong with you!” says another.
Here’s the thing – I’m not going to not get married out of principal. If someone asks me to marry them I’m not going to say, “No, sorry, I’ve got a job to do!” That’s a bit unreasonable. If I get pregnant I’m not going to say, “No, not today, I have a show to market!” That’s a bit unreasonable. But I’m not going to go looking for it, y’know? If things happen, things happen but they’re not on the top of my to-do list and they won’t be until I’m happy with my life, and my career. Why? Because if I’m not happy with myself then I can’t make someone else happy nor can I dedicate my time to them if my goals are incomplete.
And to clear something up for one of my other colleagues, this does not mean that I want to be single for all eternity. I may be ambitious, I may be driven, and I may be slightly selfish but I am still a human being. I still want to be loved, and cared for. But is marriage the way to do this? Well Brad and Angelina don’t seem to think so I’ll save my post on the sanctity of marriage for another time because I’ve aired enough of my [ever-so-slightly cynical] views in public for now.
Please do not read this post and think, “This bitch hates me because I’m married!” No I do not. I’m very pleased for you, I’m very pleased that you’re happy – it’s just not for me. Or, “This bitch hates me because I’ve got kids!” No I do not. Again, very pleased and very happy – it’s just not for me.
And I cannot wait to read this post in 10 years time when I’ve completely u-turned and am gushing about family life. Or maybe I’ll be sat at home alone, a cup of cocoa in hand, and 17 cats. But at least I’ll have the career I wanted (I kid, I kid!).
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