I’m a bitch. I’m the first person to admit I’m a bitch. But this is a very small part of my personality. I am lot more than a bitch. I am loyal. I am ambitious. I am passionate. I am kind. I am generous. So when a very close friend of mine decides to hold the fact that I am a bitch against me, it upsets me. What about all of the other things? Surely being a bitch every now and again doesn’t override everything else? And if it does, why? I’m not asking you to partake in my bitching. I don’t bitch about your friends. I don’t bitch about your family. I just bitch. I bitch about my life, my problems – not yours. So why are you bothered? I’m not hurting your feelings because it has nothing to do with you. And quite frankly, I’m clearly bitching about it for a reason so take some time to find out why and listen. Offer support. Don’t attack me.
Where does all of this come from? A couple of weeks ago I went out walking with an incredibly close friend of mine – we love each other just a little less than we would if we were in a relationship. We’re close. We began talking about celebrity culture and how people pass judgements without knowing these celebrities. He started attacking people who read celebrity magazines and who get involved in celebrity culture. I read magazines. I get involved in celebrity culture as do a lot of other people in the world. It doesn’t make us bad people. It makes us laugh, it creates discussion. It does not, however, control our lives. We have other things we like to do besides reading a celebrity magazine every couple of weeks. We have jobs. We have families. Give us a break. Yet he was making me feel incredibly stupid for showing an interest in the celebrity culture.
Shortly after this he started attacking me for going to the theatre, and going to music concerts. When I go to the theatre I often pop round to the stage door to say hello – often I know someone in the show, I’m not just saying hello to a random. Why is this so wrong? Occasionally I have pictures with celebrities. I don’t hunt them down like a crazy stalker. If I’m in the vicinity I’ll ask for a picture. Why is this so wrong? I’m not following them home. I’m not trying to dry hump them. I’m not trying to be their best friend. I’m merely asking for a picture, as I’m sure other people would do if they came into contact with a well known person. Again, this doesn’t control my life. I do other things. I have nights out with my friends. I go out with my family. I have a life. But occasionally I do the above, so shoot me now please if it’s so fucking wrong.
Today I made the mistake of joking about with someone on Twitter. It wasn’t serious. It wasn’t malicious. It was a tiny but of fun to brighten my boring Saturday afternoon. This person then decided to call me fat. Where this came from I have absolutely no idea. But I took it on the chin – I didn’t know this person, he was a minor celebrity in the 90s, and he’s pretty fat himself. So I threw an insult back. I then made a second mistake – I made a Facebook status about it. Oh damn. I was being a bitch and getting involved with celebrity culture. I was in for it. I should’ve expected it. My so-called friend decided to say, “you’re so cool x”. I don’t know about you but I can sense sarcasm a mile off so I said the same to him, exchanging the “cool” for “sarcastic”. A bit of banter between friends, yes? No. “you’re a bitch – that’s worse.” My Saturday afternoon had gone from quite funny, to quite bleak in the space of about 5 seconds.
I will not apologise for being a bitch. I will not apologise for throwing insults at someone when they threw the first punch. I will not apologise for doing things that make me happy. And I will not apologise for anything else you find oh-so pathetic.
I will, however, apologise for being there for you when your family were going through a hard time. I will apologise for supporting you in your studies, and encouraging you to be the best you can be. I will apologise for making you laugh until your sides split. Because clearly, those things mean nothing to you.
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